Friday, October 4, 2013

tummy tuck 1 month 15 days before







At the gym today I really wanted to take some pictures and post them. I think I will on my fitness blog too. I really want people to SEE and UNDERSTAND why I HAVE to do this for myself.
These pictures make my heart so sad. I hate hating my stomach. I HATE that I try to teach women everyday to love themselves and realize how worthy of love and respect they are, when I can't do it. I can't get on board with it. I just have such hate and discontent for my stomach and there is absolutely nothing I can do to change it, except have surgery.
 I hate my stomach and I want it gone. Today.
I can't wait. I am sick of the sadness every time I look in the mirror. I am sick of freaking out if my shirt creeps up. I am sick of wearing pants and looking like I have a muffin top because I DON'T. I am sick of this crap. 
November can't come soon enough. I can't wait. Seems insane when I say it, type it, but I literally feel like I will look back in 365 days and say it was the best thing I have ever done. I am not scared for surgery. I am not scared of recovery. I can't freaking wait.
( For my records I really want to remember these pictures and how they make me feel)

3 comments:

The Hayes Family said...

As women, we are supposed to love our bodies; it's been engrained into us to do so. Can we sit back and see another woman complaining about her own self and be the one to come in and rescue her with positive self talk? Sure we can! But to rescue ourselves seems to be the hardest if at all possible.

I really get what your message is trying to say here with talking out both sides of your mouth. Thank you for exposing this part of your psyche that you can't seem to shake no matter how hard you try. It's always so much easier to tell another woman "to get over it," "you look great," or even "you're beautifully made,"than to say those exact words to our self.

I somehow feel okay complaining about my own body issues after reading your post! :)

Teri said...

It is SO hard. Such a fine line because I don't want to be an advocate for "fixing whatever is wrong with you" ya know?
It really is a hard spot for me to be in. I have tried for YEARS to talk so nicely to myself, to love my body and "trick" myself into getting over my stomach phobia. It hasn't worked.

I really feel like it is important to be a good example of healthy living, moderate living, and contentment. I wish I could do this without having surgery but I can not. I can't. So I am using my resources to fix what I need to fix so I can be that person for myself, my kids, and for my friends.

Ps. I never think anyone else needs surgery. I can see easily see the beauty and perfection in others. I never want to be the reason someone justifies not loving themself so I hope that you can learn from me what NOT to do maybe :) we are definitley our own worst critics without a doubt.

Thanks for commenting! I appreciate you taking the time to!

Unknown said...

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