summer!!

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Pi$$ed

Ok ok here it comes. A few of you expect it and a few of you wonder what the heck is wrong with me but I gotta tell you I am fired up right now.

I am so so so sick of all this distorted body image crap that is rampant. I do not understand why this stupid crap is going on in the age of technology in 2013. We are not stupid, we are not naive,  we absolutely know how the pictures, how the ads, how the tv works. They take a body (a male or female body) and they freaking change it. They freaking change it ok?!!?

The models do NOT look like that. I am in  a gym where they train fitness competitors year round, I have trained for a fitness competition  I KNOW personally what 13% body fat looks like on me and I know what 8-10% looks like on other women. These girls look freaking ripped out hot and better than any model in a magazine. You know what? If their trouble area is their butt, they still have cellulite. If their stomach is their trouble area, it is not all the way tight. When was the last time you saw a magazine with a model in it, at an extremely low body fat level still showing a bit of her cellulite, or her stomach sag, or her back arm looking less than completely perfect?

You haven't because the magazines fix that crap!

The women in those pictures do not really look like those pictures. Sure they're close. Sure they work their butts off and feed their families by scoring those photo shoots-- and YOU! and ME! Are trying to look like them 365 days a year and we will try this and we will try that, and when this and that and the other thing doesn't work and make us look like that--

We talk mad crap to ourselves. We beat the heck out ourselves. We aren't thin enough. We have cellulite. We never eat that. We always do this and we never do that. Why can't we just look like them? We do what they say they do in their little biography page thingy. Gosh dangit stop doing that! We are all striving to look like a fitness and or model, who doesn't look like the ads she is standing in, who earns her living making her body look, the way it is.

What do you do for a living? Oh, your a teacher? That's so great. Thanks for spending so much time, unpaid making our future generations think. Thank you for striving to teach them things they aren't learning at home. Thank you for sacrificing a pay check so you can better the future of our country. Thank you. Now tell me again, what's that "you still have cellulite" Who the eff cares? Everyone has cellulite. Even guys have cellulite. Do you eat healthy? Do you exercise regularly? Do you get enough rest? Do you drink alcohol in moderation?

If the answers to those questions are yes, why are you telling yourself you should look like a model? You gotta modeling gig on the side? No, you don't. You have a husband/wife who wants to jump your bones all the time, you have children that think you are the most beautiful creation in the world, you have people around you looking to you to TEACH them something. They aren't looking to see if you have cellulite for hell's sake.

I am not just talking to YOU, or YOU. I am talking to myself as much as anything. I saw a video of myself today, that my husband took in the gym of my 7 pull ups. I look at the video and I think to myself that that girl looks freaking amazing. Freaking strong. Freaking unstoppable. And then I realize it is me and I can not for the life of me, understand why I don't see that when I look in the mirror. All that I look at is my saggy skin stomach. When I look down that's what I see as well. It's so dang dumb.

Another girl, that I am friends with from a close circle of fitness minded women across the country I KNOW thinks she is ginormous. She has lost a butt ton of weight and she is still trying to figure out how to lose more weight and today she posts a collage of pics of her cute clothes on a budget and I am literally in AWE of how beautiful and fit this girl looks. She looks amazing. Yet, I know, she thinks she looks fat. Damnit she isn't fat. She isn't even close to fat. She is sexy sizzling hot. And she has worked so so hard to get where she is and instead of flaunting her tight a$$ around, she is trying to figure out what to do next to keep losing. She doesn't need to lose. She needs to focus on the freaking journey she has been on, be grateful and proud, and realize that the reflection she sees in the mirror is a dang liar--and she is so much different appearing than she thinks she is. It makes me mad, and makes me sad.

Why can I see the beauty in all of you so clearly? Why can I look at you and tell you 10 things off the top of my head that are beautiful and healthy about you, but when I ask YOU about yourself, you can barely think of one. In fact, the first thing that comes to your mind is the number that stupid scale told you you weighed.

You know what:? I haven't weighed myself in two weeks. You know why? Cuz it stresses me out. I eat clean, I eat to fuel my body every day and enjoy a treat from time to time. I train 5-6 days a week. I make goals and accomplish them. I work. I take care of a beautiful family that for some reason I got lucky and they chose me, and I get focused on what a number says. Its like in the beginning, I needed to weigh all the time, because I would see how much I could get "by with" a little snack here or a little snack there and then if the scale didn't go up it was ok. But now, now health is just my goal. And kicking a$$ in the gym is my goal. So my lifestyle is as balanced approach as I can get while loving that part of my lifestyle and loving to have a normal life where my kids and I cook a normal dinner together at night and we all eat together. I'm no longer half committed  I am fully committed and so when I think about getting on the scale I really articulate if I am going to be unbiased when I get on there and take it as a number, or if I am going to let it effect me--what I am training, how I am training, what I am eating, how I am spending my time with my family. And if the answer isn't "no it wont affect me", I simply don't get on.\

Now that's me. And I am 3.5 years into my journey. A lot of you are just starting out, trying to establish good habits. Most of my clients, you need to weigh in weekly, you need to follow a plan until we get you where you want to be. And then we maintain. Maintenance can be the easiest thing in the world, or it can be the hardest thing in the world. Depending on how you get where you are going. If you are willing to take the high road, work hard, eat right and follow the plan--when you get there the transition is simple. But if you are doing what you are doing, hating every second of it, and so excited to get to goal so you can go back to your old life--it wont work. It'll just be another check off the list. Another time you feel defeated like nothing works for you. It has to be a lifestyle.

And when you're ready to make it that lifestyle, everything becomes more simple. You don't fret over details, you will come to love who you are and where you have come from because it will have shaped the new you. You will learn to stop judging yourself for what you aren't and start appreciating yourself for what you are. You will realize how strong you are mentally and physically and you will understand that you are so much more than just what the scale tells you your number is. You will realize you are beautiful, because of how you look on the outside, for who you are on the inside, and for what you are capable of accomplishing at the end of the day.

The possibilities are endless. You can teach yourself to be/do anything you want to. You just have to settle in and get your mind right. Realize its gonna be work and if you look at it like that--you are going to be a sexy beast "doin work" and you better be dang proud of yourself because YOU DESERVE to be your own biggest chearleader. You deserve to be happy and healthy and you are worth the time it takes to achieve that. Not perfection. Aim for your best-- and that my friends, will be YOUR PERFECTION.

You got this. Keep going.

Why Should YOU lift weights?

You should lift weights to get hott, obviously!!

But why else?

I'll be 100% honest here, so there are like a zillion articles written on the world wide web that are all technical and scientific about the reasons why YOU should lift instead of just doing the boring ol dreadmill or the beast of a stair climber for exercise--BUTT I hate reading that crap. It's like, I don't even want to read an article that is all that glycogen, basic metabolic rate, BMI, energy stores, macronutrients yada yada crap-- and I certainly don't want to write it either. So this is the world according to the fit chick mom, and of course I have to add my sass to it or it wouldn't be a true rant from yours truly.

First of all while you are sleeping you burn calories. Did you know that? Why you are sitting on your booty doing nothing you are burning calories, this is called that basic metabolic rate or BMR. The more of your frame that is made up of muscle, the more calories your body naturally burns--get that--while doing nothing. So you are 140 lbs of fat or you are 140 lbs with more muscle and whichever you choose determines how many calories a day you get to burn while watching your favorite tv show.

Why burn calories? Well to get hott, obviously.

And to lose weight. Calories equal pounds but it isn't just as simple as calories in vs calories out like all those other stupid weight loss programs try to trick you into believing. TRUST ME. 1500 calories of food is completely different than 1500 calories of meal replacement foods. mmmk?!?! Also, we don't want to just burn calories-- we want to burn FAT right? You want to have less fat on your body? Stop doing all that cardio, it makes your body VERY VERY nervous, so it holds onto that fat you have to make sure you aren't going to starve it. It literally makes it harder to lose weight when you do so much cardio--not to mention, you can't build lean muscle when you are doing all that, it just uses your muscle and BURNS your most prized possession off your poor little body. Don't be that girl. Just don't.

(Side rant, I know you are nervous at the gym at first, and you think that you look less conspicuous at the gym on the elliptical for 2 hours, but you don't. You just look nervous. Just venture over to the weight area, ask a trainer, or ask the most fit person who looks like they know what they are doing (preferably one that looks like they wont kill you though, there are some of THOSE in the gym). Remember, everyone in the gym started somewhere--and only 5% of the people in there look fit all the time, most of them have to work really hard to look the way they look).

So we don't want to cardio our bodies to death, unless of course we are training for a marathon or a triathalon. Then we should cardio to death as well as strength train so we can have stronger muscles to push our bodies through the distance more efficiently and quickly.

What does weight training do for our bodies besides help us get hott, burn more calories, and push us through our daily activities?

It makes you stand up taller. Seriously. Like, when you have muscle on your body you can hold your body up better. Have a back ache? Could be because your body is too heavy for you to carry around all day. Weight training also builds muscle around your bones--ya know, those fragile little things that break from time to time when you fall down on your hip, or when you fall off your bike? The more muscle you have on your body, the more protection you have for your pretty little bones. Think of it as body armour!! That sounds so beastly huh? BODY ARMOUR!! (Ladies over 50, I know I KNOW! You think you are too old to lift weights, you don't know what you are doing, lifting is for boys yadayada NO!! Stop it! You need to lift weights so you can be CERTAIN you aren't going to have to deal with osteoporosis!!! FO-REAL! 50 is the new 30 so walk that sexy body up into the gym and make it sexier!!) Next, we want a tight body right? How many of you get out of the shower and think to yourself "I wish that didn't HANG like that?" We all do it. Well the more muscle you have on your body frame the tighter your body looks. Seriously. It is all high and tight and nice! With cardio and calorie restriction you can make your body a smaller version of exactly what it looks like right this minute, but with weight lifting you can reshape your body and change it.

Body reshaping that works? SIGN YOU UP!! No wrap necessary!
Want a booty? BUILD IT! With squats and lunges!
Want a quad to poke out? BUILD IT!
Want calve that poke out the back of your legs? BUILD EM!
(GUYS!) Want a chest that sticks out in your tshirts? BUILD IT!
(LADIES) Want perkier boobs? BUILD EM!

ANDDD!! You are so tired from just going and going and going in the same spot, something that jams the crap out of your joints INSTEAD you can do some bursts of expenditure by lifting weights, not freaking feel like you are going to bust a knee cap and also not feel like you are so exhausted and tired you want to curl up in a ball and eat bon bon's on the couch to rest because you are just so dang tired. That's what lots of cardio does, it makes you sleepy. Oh, and lifting heavy a$$ shiz off the floor and putting it back down makes you feel like a beast. It makes you feel like you could go all taekwando on somebody's butt in a dark alley if you needed to. Today for instance, one of my clients after 3 months has gone from shoulder pressing 10# in each hand to 20# in each hand. And she felt like a beast. That's strong folks. The first time I lifted my own 145 lbs up and over that pull up bar, or the first time I side raised 30# dumb bells I literally felt like I could not only kick HIS butt if I needed to, but HIS, HIS, and HIS butt. I mean--that's a boat load of weight.

I think I forgot to mention that as long as you are eating clean and lifting heavy weights you get to eat more! I literally eat about 2000 calories of clean food a day. This helps me fuel my workouts, allows me to continue building muscle and of course, get HOTT. (Oh, and fyi that age old LIE that says you are going to look all manly and grow facial hair is just that a LIE. Women just do not have enough testosterone in their bodies to build muscle like a man. PERIOD. End of story. Women who look like men, are not only spending their days dedicated to their jobs-- of working out and eating 5-6000 calories a day, but they are also getting a shot in the butt with a little muscle booster mmmmkkkk?!!)

I saw this little postcard thingy on facebook that said "it would be a shame for a woman to grow old without finding out what her body is truly capable of."

Seriously. I dare you. Give up the cardio for 3 months, or decrease it by 75% and lift weights for 45 minutes 3 days a week. Take a picture. Take a selfie in the bathroom, then do it again every month. I PROMISE PROMISE PROMISE you will like what you see, and if you don't-- you can just go back to that cardio equipment for 2 hours a day and burn off any and all muscle you have built. Just don't sue me when you all a sudden want to jump your husbands bones 5 times a week and dont sue me when your man can't keep his hands off your boot-AY!

(ps. I always say training is the smaller piece to the puzzle, the way you look is in direct correlation to how you eat. So you run a ton, and eat crap--you're going to look like that. You eat clean and run a lot, your body is going to look better. You lift weights, eat crap. You will look fat. You eat clean and lift weights and well, ya know
Ya get Hott, of course!)