Two years ago I wrote this note to myself and hung it on my bedroom mirror to remind myself--that I was in control of the outcome I wanted. If I wanted to become a leaner version of myself--I could, if I wanted to be ok where I was--in really good shape but not LOOKING the way I thought I should, that was ok too.
I just needed to make a decision and stick with it.
This note has served it's purpose for the past two years. It has been a high five when things have been "on" and it has been a slap across the face, twice, when I wasn't living up to the expectations I had set for myself.
Did you get that? Expectations I set for MYSELF.
I am a wife, a mom, a part time trainer, an athlete, a daughter, a teacher, and many other things to many other people. But in my head I was always, always telling myself I wasn't enough. I wasn't lean enough. I wasn't working hard enough, I wasn't eating enough of "this" food, and definitely too much of "that" food. I wasn't patient enough with my kids, I wasn't giving as much service as I should have been. I wasn't the loving wife I wanted to be. I was a fit healthy girl trapped in a body that was fat and unreliable and very very unappreciated.
Fast forward several months and what do you know--my head is screwed on tight. I have come to realize that the only person I have to please is myself--and all those extremely high expectations I was putting on myself, were only for me. No one else cared if I ate too much of that, or if my pants were a little tight, or if I couldn't read a freaking magazine because I couldn't stop thinking about my next workout or how much weight I wanted to lose.
Nobody cared but me.
As soon as I embraced my size, my shape, my personality, my desire to help others--all these little pieces started coming together and all a sudden, my life has gotten much better. My husband and my marriage is happier than it has been in the past, my kids behave better, my life is much less stressful, and my body--my body looks pretty dang good.
It doesn't take a genius to figure this out--I embraced me and now although I strive to be a little better everyday, I am perfectly content with ME. I love me. I even have started to kinda think my stretched out stomach is kinda...cute.
I threw that note away today. It felt good. I have become the person I chose to be by just embracing myself and loving myself for what I AM oppose to always dwelling on what I am NOT.
Maybe you need that note right now, maybe you need to remind yourself that YOU CAN DETERMINE WHO YOU WANT TO BE. As long as you are willing to work hard and do your best, you can become that person. Don't let the media, don't let your mom, don't let your friend determine who you are destined to become.
Whoever you decide you want to become, just be sure it's a person you want to see in the mirror at the end of everyday. Make sure it's the kind of person who strives hard but accepts that you will never be perfect. Be the person you can become by treating yourself the way that person deserves to be treated. Be your biggest cheerleader.
You're almost there. You are reading this, you are exercising, you are eating right, you are talking more softly to yourself. You are almost to the top of that first hill. It does get easier. You're gonna stumble and fall down, but as long as you get up and dust yourself off, you will be further up that hill. One day, soon, you are going to wake up and you are going to see a breathtaking view that no one, but you can get you to see. And no one, but you, will appreciate it--the way I promise you will. Keep going.
Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.8
No comments:
Post a Comment