Just about DONE

So this is me in my Walmart eye and lip make up I hurriedly purchased last night. I think I like it best and it is closest to "me."
I think I will try about one more time and then just go with it because honestly, the make up is super annoying to me. I don't like a lot of make up on my face, I am all ready SUPER struggling with trying to look sexy when I do my walk, poses, curtsy, yada yada that I really just don't even care too much about the makeup at this point.
I had a posing session tonight and my back poses were just sucking it up horrid. I couldn't get one right I swear. Husband came, which should have made me feel less nervous, but ended up making me feel more nervous.
I am so self conscious about myself. I am wearing 5 inch heels, I don't walk well in them. I can walk, I just don't strut well in them. I have only a few poses to remember but 5 things with each pose. Not to mention I am in a bikini and feel totally "out there"
I know it is not fun for my husband to see me in a small swim suit in front of another man, I know it wont be fun when I will be in that small suit in front of a crowd at the first show that he isn't able to attend, I know it will be slightly more fun for him to be at the second show and he will probably feel really proud of all we have accomplished getting ready for this show.
But right now, honestly. It just feels super awkward for both of us I think.
I have been getting through one meal at a time the past two days. I try to only focus on the next one. If I focus in terms of days I am getting really overwhelmed and stressed.
I am ready for this to be over.
My diet changed, my rice got cut in half. And my afternoon protein shake got changed to tilapia and spinach. Did you know that only in the past 6 months have I started eating fish? Deathly disgusted by it my whole life. Tilapia is pretty much nastiness and I have it every.single.day. And soon it will be twice a day, and then soon it will be all the live long freakin day at every meal.
Gag me now.
I can do this. Less than 4 weeks. I can do this.
I pick up my suit tomorow!! WEEEEE!!! I am excited to see it. And I was down to my lowest weight this morning.... dun dun dun 127.9. Jon took progress pics tonight, but didn't measure my body fat sadly. Ill post pics when i see them.