Fired

Today I am up and rearing to go after my 55 minutes of treadmill walking, breakfast, dropping 4 year old off at preschool and am now contemplating tackling my kitchen mess.

Yesterday was EXACTLY what I needed. I had been missing food so so So SO much that I just needed a cheat meal like a dying man needs water. I was supposed to get those 2 reeses eggs, but when I got home from church (Those kids were CRAZY!!! sugar high devils!!!). I got home and couldn't wait to eat, so I had honestly (I hope Jon doesn't read this!!!) 5 small home made cookies from Jared's aunt. They were so so good. I planned on stopping at 2, but of course, we all knew that probably would happen so I ate 5. They were soo good. Did I say that? They were actually a bit orgasmic in my mouth. I ate my regular food I was supposed to and put the kids down for a nap, and layed down myself because all of a sudden I was SO SLEEPY and my belly was soo full and bloated.

Seriously? After 5 small cookies? I used to eat 5 big cookies before I ever sat down at the table with my cookies and milk.

I layed down so uncomfortable, read some books, then kids were up and we took a walk thinking that would make my stomach feel better.

TMI ALERT

It did feel better, because I got explosive diarrhea for like 30 minutes. Seriously, so disgusting I know!! But, that's what sugar does to you when you haven't had it in 4 months. It makes you ridiculously sick. So once I recovered from that I went to my moms where I ate a normal easter dinner-- ham, potatoes, some chips, lots of veggies, spinach dip and some other little sides. One plate of food and some appetizers. I was so full it was ridiculous. I went for another walk to help my stomach stop hurting SO bad from being SO full. It helped, a little.

I thought to myself I never want another cheat meal again!!! I am absolutly amazed when I think about how I used to have these "cheats" multiple times in a week. I would over fill myself once or twice A DAY!!! I just got used to feeling bloated and uncomfortable so it felt normal to me. I assure you, there is nothing normal or healthy about doing that to yourself, ever. I feel like a recovering addict who is almost to the point of mastering my addiction-- food.

This morning I woke up feeling recovered and revived. I am rethinking my whole after show cheat meal to include MUCH less sugar (like maybe Ill eat ONE of those eggs I didn't eat yesterday!!) I got on the treadmill for my fasted cardio and I didn't bat an eyelash at it. I am meeting Shawna at the gym today to kill some shoulders together and I honestly am so ready to pump the next 19 days out, I almost wish I had 29 days to prepare even more.

My abs filled in yesterday and at the end of the day I could "see" what Jon and Shawna are saying when they tell me stomach is going to be "fine." It filled in!! The carbs filled it in and it IS going to be better than fine for the show. There will still be a bit of saggy skin, but like I have said before... that saggy skin is my marks of warrior hood and I wouldn't change them for anything, today. In fact, in my photo shoot the Wednesday before my show-- I will be taking a few pics in my shorts and sports bra, and I wont be having those marks photo shopped-- you can be sure of that much from me.

BUT in 5 years you can bet your ass I will have a tummy tuck to get rid of that skin.

Anyway, I am pumped. I love my food, I love my portions, I love my workouts, I love that I got a new antibiodic today that I know is going to finally work and heal my throat. I love this process and this journey has been amazing. I can't wait to get on stage--pose and rock at it. I am almost no longer just a figure competitor in training friends, I am almost... a figure competitor.

It's go time. Jump on my train or get the hell off cuz this freight line is going fast and furious for the rest of the ride.