Basically, at this point I am supposed to feel like crap, and look shredded, but still I look a little crappy. I am exhausted. I am over trained, under slept, and over stretched. However, I still only get cheat meals when I look like crap because I still have gains and progress to make, ya know?
I measured in today. 128.6 lbs, still after like two weeks of remaining pretty close to that-- but at 12.5% body fat. Jon hesitates to check body fat because he doesn't exactly "care" what my percentage is... he goes off of how I actually look. But to me, the one who sees myself everyday, it is harder to "see" what he sees and the numbers changing keep me revved up. So, the scale not moving has been a bit of a damper on my parade, but the body fat down to 12.5% is an ego boost. I am not going to lie. It feels good to know that this diet I do day in and day out whether I want to or not, and the hour and 15 minutes of cardio I do every day whether I want to or not, and the weight lifting I do day in and day out whether I want to or not-- are actually adding up to making me stage ready.
Stage ready? Who knows if I will really ever feel stage ready. I wont lie, I will probably still be picking myself apart 5 minutes before I step up on that big stage in that small suit and high heels-- but, I will also be extremely proud of the package I am bringing to the stage.
I can honestly say this go around has been like a different person inside my body mentally.
I am so much more capable-- and stable for that matter.
This is the first week, where I have started getting agitated over simple things, and the first week where I have contemplated honestly cheating on my meal plan when I wasn't supposed to. I am proud of that, because last time... I was beating to a whole nother tune.
Anway, I had a cheat meal... a home made sandwich with avocado, tomato, turkey, cheese, ham, and ciabbatta bread. It was so good, salad on the side. Doesn't sound all that crazy but I assure you I feel a little drunk on carbs right now because my body just isn't used to them. I also had some nuts, a few bites of a banana and graham cracker (those were not authorized, I may be in trouble for them too) I can honestly say I feel so much better on fewer carbs. After a cheat meal gone bad early in prep at Olive Garden, we have come to understand that my body doesn't react well with the insulin... or something like that and I gain a butt load of weight when I eat the carbs. I don't have the time to manipulate this scenario now, but after prep I intend on toying with this a bit. I feel like it will be a good time to play with the paleo lifestyle or primal. I am not sure which, I don't intend to give up oatmeal, ever. So whichever category I fit in from that stand point is the one I am referring to. Anyway, so after Olive Garden one night.. I gained 6 lbs! Can you believe that? Of course I didn't keep 6 lbs on because I went right back to a strict diet, but basically a normal person who processes carbs right and is on an insanely strict diet can eat all night long and only gain 3 or 4 lbs. I had one meal and gained 6. This has given me little freedom when I do get a cheat meal, actually it has given me like, no freedom. Jon approves or assigns them since like 1 month ago. BOO.
So I have been carb cycling. This is not nearly as bad as I was expecting, it did take me 3 days to figure out how to successfully swallow a tbsp of coconut oil at two separate meals a day. I threw up in my mouth the first three days of that. It was amazeballs fun. I go two days with protein only and coconut oil to make up for no carbs (Except I still get veggie carbs at two meals) and then one day with a carb at my first 3 meals of the day.
I am all settled into my food routine now, I imagine in a week or so I will get reacquainted with my frenemy--tilapia. AHH, I FREAKING HATE TILAPIA. Not looking forward to that, but I can do anything for a few weeks I assure you. I ALMOST can't think of ANYTHING in this ENTIRE world, that would keep me from prepping for the rest of the next 5 weeks. LIKE, honestly-- please don't test me universe, but at this point, I can't think of a single thing. IT IS ON LIKE DONKEY KONG UP IN HERE FRIENDS. My cardio got increased to 55 minutes fasted in the morning, and 25 minutes still after weight training in the after noon. Totally doable for 38 more days.
My tan is scheduled, my nails, toes, and hair to have dyed and cut, I passed my polygraph, my NGA card is in the mail and my registration for the show is completed. Shawna is going to take me to my tanning and babysit me/get me ready for the stage on Friday the 27th and I am pretty much fired up and ready.
I have been training basically since January 1, but officially since January 14th. That is, 10 weeks this Saturday and I CAN NOT BELIEVE IT. It has gone so smoothly, and I am so so grateful to Big Jon and Shawna because they have been amazing-- I could/would not be here if it weren't for them believing in me and knowing I could accomplish such a lofty goal.
My whole "job transition" two weeks ago could have been a big wrench in my plans, but I have officially made as much money working for Jon and my own clients in two weeks, as I did in a whole month of my last job-- so I think it is pretty safe to say, that the Lord always has a plan for me and that at the end of the day, it's all going to work out for the good.
Last random things, my husband was off today and took care of the kids for the entire day! Oh my gosh, I am seriously so grateful... he is prolly gonna get some extra lovin tonight just cuz of it. They have each been sick on and off since mid February, my 4 year old has turned into a diva sassy pants and my two year old is trying to talk but it mostly comes out in this whiney sing songy whine that has been so close to throwing me over a cliff it isn't even a bit funny. I was about ready to sell them at the freaking corner store. I needed to be saved from myself and them like two weeks ago, but we made it to today, and I have a feeling we can make it another few weeks before anyone needs to intervene. :o)
Love my family, love my friends, grateful for loving loyal people in my life-- but sometimes I just need a bit of quiet time to hear myself think.
So here I am-- drunk on carbs and ready to hit the hay.
That is my update-- 38 days out and ready to freaking rock the stage ghetto mama fabulous.
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