11 weeks Progress

I started in January by entering the 100,000 dollar bodybuilding.com challenge to get back into shape and on the right track. I was still feeling pretty let down from dropping out of my contest back in October, and in fact looking back in retrospect, I realize now I was suffering from some extent of depression. I felt so let down, so frustrated with myself for not accomplishing a goal that had been so important to me. When I quit training, I knew it was the right decision for that point in my life, I know that I listened to promptings that were given to me-- and now looking back, I am thankful for the experience and thankful that I was strong enough to listen to what my heart was telling me.

January

February

March

January

February

March

February

March

About two weeks into my transformation challenge my brother in law had left back for the army, and our lives were settling down. I mentioned to my husband I couldn't stop thinking about competing on the stage.

And he told me, that night to do it. To commit "and he better not hear a word about quitting this time."

Permission was granted and I felt at peace with it. I prayed to my father in heaven and asked permission you could say. I knew I needed his strength to get through this process because I would be lying like a bad bad woman if I told you it were anything but hard core and hard.

So guess what? I started training again, but I didn't tell a single soul. Ok, only one.

And that my friends has gotten my to today, 7 weeks into training for a figure competition, and 7.5 weeks away from stepping on stage in that said show.

This go around my life is so much easier. Partly because I knew what to expect maybe, partly because my husband is settled into his new (amazingly awesome) career, and mostly because I know the Lord is helping me make my dream a reality.

During the time of quitting I turned back to food for comfort in a big way, I was only at 17% body fat when I went back to see my trainer, but I was 142 lbs and it wasn't all muscle... it was about 7 lbs of water weight from all the sugar and sodium I had been eating.

It is a reminder to me that I am still a food addict to some degree, and that I will struggle for the rest of my life overcoming the addiction of food in my life.

I don't care how much you weigh or what your poison, we all face addictions of different kinds. And they are all serious issues.

For today, I am inspired, I am working hard and I am so motivated. The drive and determination I have during this prep is carazy in comparison with last time.

Failure is not an option, quitting is not an option. I realized I needed to share with you, so you know what is going on in my life. You who have watched me go from a unhealthy unhappy mom... to this-- someone who sets goals and makes them happen. Someone who doesn't sit on the sidelines wishing I could do "that" some day.

I will end with a quote from bikini or bust that gave me goosebumps today...

"Work like the world is watching, so that when the world does watch the work will be done."