Sad Sad Girl

131.2.

Today is i believe the second time I have truly thought about lying and posting a lesser weight than I actually weighed. (I refrained that time and this time fyi, that is truly what the demon scale said this morning)

I knew it was gonna be rough this week, trying to recover from weekend vacation of stuffing my face full of all sorts of naughtiness.

i almost did recover though until Wednesday night came. I was a bit of a glutton as my mother would say. I ate 4 muffins. Ya ya who cares about 4 muffins? Well normally I wouldn't because in my old life 4 was really just getting warmed up. And these were healthy high fiber good for ya kind, but I felt so disgusting on number 3, then threw 4 in my mouth and even as I was chewing I was thinking why, why, why are you stuffing yourself moron? But I kept at that 4th one.

Last night was a good boot camp class. Only 7 people. Where the crap are all my people?! Get your butts back to boot camp people!! hehe just kidding I don't want to go all the time either.

We burned 55o calories in case you were wondering.

I chugged a whoooooole lotta water hoping it might flush out some of the calories from my body. I think it worked a little because today was actually a lot better than my eating deserved.

I was thinkin bout how sad I was last night that my self control was down because of stress in my life. Why do I sabotage myself like that? Sad day, eat some food. Mad day, eat some food. Kids screamin, eat some food. Happy birthday party day, eat some food. I have taught myself to be better than that this past year, or maybe not better than that... but I have taught myself to exercise more discretion when eating. I don't have to eat 5 of everything, because I can eat one... and guess what? Have left overs later! What a novel idea. And, I don't need to eat to stuff emotions. I am allowed to feel emotions and have reactions. That is normal human behavior.

So, as i was bustin a move early early at the gym today (almost 850 calories, I was proud. Also ran my first ever sub 8 minute mile) I had five million different posts going through my mind. But today the most important is my plan of action for the birthday celebration i am attending tonight.

Problem one for Teri? I am a carb addict. It is painfully hard for me to limit my carbohydrate intake. Olive Garden for dinner tonight?! Holy crap that is like taking a kid into a candy store. DANGEROUS!! My plan you might ask? Because I do have a plan.

Fail to plan, plan to fail.

One breadstick, soup and as much salad as I want. Of course diet coke because I don't believe in going to a restaurant without a soda. :o) Ok, I think I should say 2 breadsticks because i don't know if i will be strong enough in the moment to refuse after only one. I can do two. And cupcakes, my favorite kind by the way. One. That means one total, not one right now as I am baking, a bunch of batter and one cupcake tonight. It means one. I reiterate not because I think you can't read, but because I must remind myself several times. One, one, one. I can do this. No cupcake tastes as good as my new body feels and looks.

That is my plan. I shall report in the morning. And I shall also report the dang number on the scale for added accountability that I just do better with. Even though only 5 of you read this :o)