Intimidated?

I remember my first night back at the gym after I had my first baby like it was yesterday. I went with a cousin who was in shape. I was 20 pounds over weight had acne all over my face and was still wearing maternity clothes every day.

I was so embarrased. I was so self concious. I had never been one of the big people in the gym. I was that day, I was bigger than the big people. We did the eliptical for probably 30 minutes, I remember I wanted to die. I was breathing like a freight train, we did some abs, I couldn't even pull myself up for half of a sit up. I was scared to death I would see someone who might recongize me, (hard to do when you don't even recognize yourself).

I was in a hard spot on life. I was soooo depressed about the way I looked. I had a beautiful baby at home, and I wanted to feel like a beautiful mom. It wasn't working. My face hurt so bad from the acne that came on when I got pregnant with her. My body was so swollen and heavy with the extra weight. I hadn't worked out for 10 minutes in a year.

That was the day I learned to feel compassion for heavier people. I realized why people say they hate gyms.

I made myself keep going. I started the group classes, the kick boxing, strength training, and eventually I started to do the step aerobics. None of these classes were easy. I was so self conscious of how I looked, if I was doing a move, or a step wrong. I was sure everyone was talking about me and how fat I was, and wondering why I didn't fix my face.

I was in a bad place.

But I kept going, I made room in our budget to go and buy some workout capris that fit. I still have them... they signify something to me. They fit now, but they wont for much longer. I remember how excited I was when I had to pack those two pairs of black pants up because they were too big. Each week the workout's got a little easier, I was getting a little stronger and I was gaining a lot of confidence back.

I realized, everyone starts somewhere. Not one person in the gym went in tip top shape, or stick skinny. They started somewhere. Just like I did. And I realized that nobody even notices when you mess up a move, or don't lift just perfectly, or if you run a little funny. What they do notice, is that you are there. That you are working hard, that you are trying to improve yourself in whatever way... and that my friends is worthy of all the respect in the world.

So if you are scared to try something new, or to take your first trip to the world of gyms, remember that everyone has to start sometime, and it always gets easier. Get your butt there, work out, keep going. It always gets easier.