Cyclin it Up

I taught for the third time yesterday. Cycling. I have taught only a few songs of each hour long class, but I am L.O.V.I.N.G it! I can't believe how much faster the class goes by when I am up front instructing. I love the sweat dripping, the yelling, the bossing people around, (haha I am getting more and more truthful in this blog aren't I?) pushing people to their limits, I love the learning. I am in l.o.v.e.

I have been so lucky, getting to work with some phenomenol women, all three are almost 20 years older than me, and each can kick my friggin butt at any class any day of the week. But they are teaching me, and I am soaking it in. I am getting stronger, more endurant and better all the time. I am meeting new people, encouraging new people and falling in love with my new lifestyle.

It isn't always easy. Someone asked me the other day if I ever want to just sleep in or stay home from the gym. ummmmm YAH I do! But, I sometimes worry that if I stop I wont start again. I always worry if I am focusing on the right things, starting up a weight loss business and learning to instruct classes while me kids are young, if I am putting more stress on them than I should be carting them back and forth to the gym day care. I wonder if I am being selfish while doing this- taking too much me time.

I don't know the answers. I pray that I am doing the right thing, that I have been put in the place that I have been put for reasons I don't always understand. I hope I am influencing people for the good, that I am motivating someone- somewhere. I hope that my kids are seeing the positive results of a healthy lifestyle, I pray they will want that for themselves. I hope my husband knows that I love him and I am trying to help-- financially, emotionally, and by working on myself, trying to improve me.

I pray that anyone who ever reads this post, this blog... that you know that I am in no way shape or form perfect. I never do anything perfect. I am a normal mom, a normal wife, a normal girl. I am trying to push myself, I am seeing what I can accomplish, I suck sometimes. I fall, I fall hard and eat pizza and eat ice cream and pop, I look in the mirror and say ugly things to myself. I look at other people and I think jealous thoughts, sometimes. I go to the gym and I wish I were laying in bed or watching soap operas. I do it all. I look in the mirror sometimes and think good prideful things. I am a roller coaster. I do it all, I am goood, I am bad and I can be ugly. But the one thing I can tell you for sure, is that I am doing my best, and I am learning, every day.